"Well, I'm sure you're right. I really try to do that." is the reply.
BUT...what I really want to say is...
"So, you think I should treat my child with cerebral palsy like a normal child, because your experience with three "typical" children gives you enough knowledge to be an expert in the area of special needs. If she was a normal child then, we wouldn't have therapy four times a week and praying we can pay for it all. Instead we would have soccer, baseball and ballet to worry about. If she was normal, I wouldn't still be trying to potty train my 5 year old child and have boxes of pull-ups in the closet. If she was normal, I wouldn't be spending time and a lot of money to get the cutest shoes I can find, that will fit over AFOs. If she was normal, we wouldn't be spending time looking for just the right color for the wheelchair so that maybe her friends might think it is just a little bit cool and not just weird. If she was normal, my back wouldn't ache all the time because I wouldn't have to lift her and hold her and try to position her so that she can have a semi-normal experience with her siblings and peers. If she was normal, maybe you would treat her that way."
Thanks! I needed that!
7 comments:
Amen to that, sister!
So well said!!
I have a son, Jonah, who sounds similar to Grace. My father recently said, very proud of himself, "I never think of the fact that Jonah has cerebral palsy. He's just like any other kid." I told him that I wished I had the luxury to do think that. He didn't get it.
You summed it up perfectly. Thank you!
Tara
My twin si has CP and my mom was told that she would never walk ... she is now 25 yr.old and is a Special ed. teacher. I know its hard but it will all work out some day.
Just remember when all looks lost your not alone.
I dont have a kid with cp instead I have 2 kids with arthrogryposis. I feel your pain on the holding and lifting and wheelchairs and afos and cute shoes. and well, whats "normal" anyways?
Yes, today was another trip to the dentist for us because my little one fell and didn't get his hands down in time to brace himself...I do get it and it is quite irritating when even those closest to you do not. I am so very sorry...
Tricia
I have a child who is not special needs in the way that Grace is, but has challenges and parenting him has been a lot of effort --when he was small, I remember saying something to the effect of well, I hope I don't treat him as less of a person because of his challenges, or in his sister's eyes as more valuable than her because we spent more time interacting with him, but if I don't at least acknowledge his challenges, how in the world do expect him to work to overcome them?
I am so glad you said this.
Way too many people with SN children have chips on their shoulder and get angry and insist that their child is "no different" and anyone who dares to notice a difference is somehow bad or evil for using the faculties that God gave them to discern that a child is not the same as his or her peers.
There's nothing wrong with being different--that should be the message. We should all love and help one another, even the ones who aren't normal, or typical, or average, or different. THAT should be the lesson, not a fake "pretend not to notice" attitude.
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