Yesterday I had an appointment with my dentist who I have been going to for years. Even before there were triplets or even Abe in my life. She always asks about my life and the triplets.
"How are the kids doing? Now are all three walking?"
"Grace isn't yet" I reply
"Oh she's the one with cerebral palsy. Now do they think she'll ever walk?" She asks
"Well we don't know yet. We are looking into having a surgery in about a year where the spastic nerves are cut and they is a great possibility she will walk. She is really doing great though. She's smart and has a large vocabulary. We had her tested and she will go to school with her brother and sister and.........." and on and on I went.
I have this need to explain to everyone that although she can't walk she is still so wonderful. She is still worthy. I want you to love her. Why is that?
Mack and I have both been sick the last few days and when Mack is sick all he wants is to "Hold You". So he has pretty much been attached to me since Sunday. I don't mind my cuddle bug because when he's not sick he's moving to much to get too many hugs in. We're both much better today.
Last week Grace and I were driving to her bi-weekly appointment with her PT. She's a bit upset with me because I "forgot" the Wiggles CD and we can't listen to "Hot Potato" for the 1,000,000,000 time. A few minutes after complaining "I NEED Wiggles", I hear a quiet voice behind me say...
I went in to check on the kids during naptime one day last week and this is how I found Sophie. Kathryn has been giving her these very cool board books about famous artist for birthdays and Christmases. Her collection has become quite extensive. I personally love these books and couldn't wait for Sophie to get into them. Well now you also loves them. These are the books she selects to read every time I give her a choice. I will read the commentary about each painting and she will explain the picture to me. If you don't have these for your kids, I highly recommend them. So far we have Monet, Picasso, Seraut, Van Gogh, Matisse and others (I think we have about 12 so far).
The "girls" and I started our Summer Bible Study last Thursday. Last summer we studied the book of Daniel and it was awesome!! Lots of prophecy and intrigue. This summer our study is entitled "Breaking Free". Our study will focus on the book of Isaiah. Both of these studies are by Beth Moore. If you have never done a Beth Moore study, I highly recommend it. Hey, if you want to study with us, you are welcome...we have wine and cheese :) The beginning of the study is pretty timely for me. As you may recall, I've had a pretty big chip on my shoulder and I'm hoping and praying for peace and understanding.
Thanks Marcy for organizing it and we miss you Julie...a lot!!!
I KNOW, I KNOW...enough about me...where are the pics of the kids?! Next time...I promise.
"...Not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit", says the Lord. Zechariah 4:6
I'm mad! I'm not JUST mad...I'm mad at God. I know, I know...I AM very blessed but it's not about me...it's about Grace. I have been thinking that I should be looking into dance or gymnastics classes for Mack and Sophie. I spend so much time researching therapies and things for Grace. I need to focus some on my other two children, who I love just as much. But how will Grace feel when she can't attend those classes. She's smart and she knows she's different but I can't stand to see her in emotional pain. Will she be?
I know probably I shouldn't be voicing this, but it's my blog and I get to say what I feel. God, how can you do this to Grace!
But, oh my soul, don’t be discouraged. Don’t be upset. Expect God to act! For I know that I shall again have plenty of reason to praise Him for all that He will do. He is my help! He is my God!” ~ Psalm 42:11
Today Grace had round two of Botox injections. There were a few tears, but as always Grace handled it like a champ...and I handled it quite well myself. I've become a pro at the all the doctors' visits, at all the therapies, at picking at equipment and even at discussing Grace's disabilities without breaking down and sobbing. I thought I had the art of being a good cp mom down really well.
Today something happened that brought new things to light for me. Things that I'm afraid are going to be harder for me...and Grace...to handle.
After baths tonight, Mack and Sophie were running around and hugging each other. It was a game that started with "I hug you!" and often ended with both of them on the ground laughing hysterically. Grace and I sat on the sofa reading a book, watching and laughing with them.
Grace says "I want a hug".
"Sophie and Mack, Grace wants a hug. Can you give her a hug." I ask.
"No!" they scream and run in circles laughing.
So Grace, being the smart girl she is says "I want to stand up". She's thinking...if I stand like them then I'll get a hug. So I stand her up.
"Look Grace is standing, can you give her a hug." I plead.
"No!" is their response.
Grace is dejected and I'm...well, I'm furious!!! How can they reject her!?! Why won't they play with her!?! Is this the way school will be for her!?! Is this the way life will be for her!?! Everyone goes to bed and I sit on my front steps sobbing.
And for my first shameless solicitation... ACCDAT will be having a fund raising golf tournament in September. It is lots of fun and there will be a Luau party afterwards for the whole family. Let me know if you are interested in attending and I'll get you more information. It's a great cause!!
I mentioned in a previous post that we went to Tulsa for my twin nieces' birthday party. The theme (there's always a theme) was sports, and we were "encourage to dress appropriately (we are always encouraged to dress the theme) So my family went in University of Texas gear. Although I did not attend UT, Abe did and he is quite passionate about it. I told him I would never wear burnt orange...no one looks good in it...but I submitted and it made him happy. We were surrounded by Oklahoma State orange and Oklahoma red. Here are some pics in our burnt orange.
My niece Aubrey
My brother Brad and nephew Beck
Macey and Darcey and their amazing birthday cake. Can you believe that cake?!
on June 7, I turned the big 4-1. I know that 41 is not really what you would typically call a "big birthday", but I have decided that after 40 every birthday will be a big one because...I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M IN MY 40s!!!"
I had a wonderful weekend! Dinner at Coal Vines with the girls on Friday (I LOVE my new necklace...thank you, thank you girls!). I got to sleep in and then had Dinner at Toulouse with my hubby and some friends on Saturday. Cake all weekend long :) Abe gave me the really cool sibling ring from Nelle & Libby. Not a great picture but the ring is awesome!
I have had the misfortune the last 3 weeks to receive 3 traffic tickets, 2 for speeding and 1 for an out-date inspection sticker (only 2 weeks late!...give me a break). After overhearing me complain to a friend on the phone that I was having to do Defensive Driving for 3 tickets, Abe says....
"I didn't know you had THREE tickets!"
My reply: "Yes, I just got the 3rd one and I was only going 40 in a 30!! Can you believe I got a ticket?"
His question: "Why weren't you going 30 in the 30!?"
Yesterday afternoon I prepared the snacks, put Grace in her stander with the e-stim machine and put in a DVD (or VVD as Sophie calls them), hoping to get a few moments to myself. Before I could even leave the room for a moment, Grace says "Mommy, turn off the TV, I need to read a book!"
Talk about feeling small...even my kids know they watch too much TV :)
Well, they're not exactly Manolos, although they did cost almost as much. These are Grace's groovy new orthodic sandals by Piedro. You all know how much shoes excite me and I love these!! Now Grace doesn't have to wear her clunky boots everywhere. I told her that the gladiator style sandal is very in this summer and she seemed quite pleased. As I buckled the last one, she announced "New Shoes!". That's my girl!!!