Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I Can Do It Myself

The older and stronger Grace gets, the more independent she wants to be. She often says "I can do it myself" or "Let me do it!". If she succeeds, she love to exclaim "Look mommy!! I did it!!". Many times however, she works on the task for a while and then says "Mommy, how do you do it?" or "Will you help me?".

If she eventually asks for help, there is no frustration or defeat in her voice. She just wants help...either assistance or (mostly) more instruction...simple as that. I love her independent spirit and know that she will need it as others discover her disabilities and want to help her with everything or even shun her. But I often wonder if that independence will subside as she discovers her limitations...will she become frustrated or defeated or will she adjust and be her happy, cheerful self. As she is now becoming confident in trying things, I wonder if that will be taken away too soon. Will people always insist on helping...not to be harmful but because the want it done faster or just want to be helpful (I am guilty of this)? Will she lose that confidence and see herself as so many people will...just a disability?

Trying to screw the lid on.
Realizing she can't do it without help.


Kristina said...

Determination - what a great trait for Grace to possess.

I think with her great support system, she probably won't realize her limitations like we do. I contributed a quote to the Kidz blog the other week - The Young do not know enough to be prudent, so they attempt the impossible and achieve it. Pearl Buck

I think we learn a lot from our children.

Jackie said...

Great response Kristina. And I beleive God will Gracie the determination she needs and that will carry her through. I admire her incredible spirit. It seems to me that God is especially close to those who admit they need him most. And Gracie seems to have that balance between determination and the vulerability to admit when she needs help. God bless us all with that same quality.

Emma said...

It took me 26 years to swallow my pride and ask for help through life. I'm hopeful that Gracie knows that it's okay to ask for help and realizes that none of us can do this alone. Disability or not.

Anonymous said...

Grace is so cute, as always! :)

Anyway, here's my take on it. I think Grace will always be independent. I was just like her at that age--my mom called me "Can-Do Girl" because, similar to Grace, I would always try to do something (and more often than not, I was successful) before asking for help.

I think there will be times when she'll get frustrated--but that's okay; everyone gets frustrated sometimes. I always hated when kids would ask me why I walked funny, and a lot of times people would offer me too much help and it made me feel like, "Do I really look like I can't do that myself?" Even today, people try to help me more than I need, and I know they are probably just trying to be nice, but it gets annoying sometimes. When I leave a room, if there are people behind me, I hold the door for them and they always give me a surprised look. Last year, I was putting a textbook away, and the teacher said, "Do you need help with that?" I told her no thank you, I could do it myself. She then said that I was the most independent person she knew--and that made me feel really good. So I think Grace can use her challenges to teach people that, if she tries hard enough, she can do almost everything that everyone else can. I think God gave me my challenges so that I could learn how to deal with them and become a stronger person, and also so that I could teach others. I think the same applies to Grace, too.

Also, I thought I might add that there are some people that shun me because of the way I walk (but only a few). Sometimes it bothers me, but I just remind myself, "Why would I want a friend who would judge people like that?" I like to think of that as a blessing in disguise. All my friends are kind people who accept others for who they are, and befriend others because of their personality. :)

Just my thoughts, sorry that the post is so long!

Anonymous said...

What a gift you are creating for your children . . . this blog just pours out your love for your little ones and I just can't help but think as I read it now how later in life it will mean so much to your kids and especially Grace as they re-read your thoughts. And they will really realize what an incredibly special woman you are!

AddingOn said...

I don't think she will lose that can-do attitude it is part of who she is. We have the opposite here, she would much rather have the attention of having someone help her. It's one of the problems we have at school. I have had to become very straight forward in telling people to stop babying her becuase that's not helping any. I'm afraid when the braces are gone that she will search for other ways to always have the attention on herself. Grace has grown up with people encouraging her rather than enabling her, that is a gift for her, she will be stronger because of it!