Thursday, August 12, 2010

Helpless


Yesterday we (the trips and I) went to the Dallas World Aquarium with some friends. If you haven't been, it is really worth the trip. I bit expensive for my taste but really well done.

As we started walking through the exhibits, I noticed Grace wasn't herself. This was our first outing in her new wheelchair. She wasn't talking, pointing or even really looking around at the animals. I tried to direct her attention and asked lots of questions but there was just no interest...her eyes just weren't shining like they always are. I started becoming concerned...Is she sick? Is she sad? Is the wheelchair uncomfortable? In the meantime, Sophia, Mack and our friend Matthew were jumping up and down with so much excited about the animals we were seeing.

I pulled her aside from the excitement and tried to talk with her. "Grace are you okay? What is wrong?" Her only reply was "Hold me." So I took her out of the wheelchair and she began sobbing. Big tears...big sobs. I was so confused. "I want to go home" she said. I was at a loss. Does she realize how different she is? Does the wheelchair make it that much more evident to her? It was all I could do to not start sobbing myself. I was helpless.

3 comments:

Stacey said...

Ohhhh, that hurts. Poor you. Hugs hugs hugs hugs. I had a similar moment a couple of weeks ago. I'd do anything to keep him from feeling that way.

BusyLizzyMom said...

I am so sorry. Your heart must have broke. I wonder what sparked her sadness feeling left out, different or not being able to catch up. It must have been hard enough to have got up the courage to take her chair out in public. We have Elizabeth's chair in the basement and are using her bike trailer and then a friend can sit with her when she is too tired to walk.
I am glad to see you are back.
Hugs.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh...I read this post and starting crying myself because I can SO relate. You brought tears to my eyes. In eighth grade, I slipped and fell on cement flooring and broke my leg and they tried to put me in a wheelchair...I was in EIGHTH grade, crying my eyes out about being placed in a wheelchair. To me, I hate anything that sets me apart from other kids my age (and maybe that's magnified because I'm a teenager with CP now, but from what I'm told, I've always been like that) and a wheelchair is just something I've tried so hard to avoid. It's hard to explain, but I can so sympathize. This post is making me cry. I think another part for me (and maybe Grace too?) is that, as a triplet, it's hard to have two siblings that can do all these things that you aren't able to do. I always wanted to do the same things my brothers could do.

Here's something that my mom always said to me when my CP upset me: She would say, "Yes, you have some tightness in your legs, and a lot of things are hard for you, and I get that. But more importantly, you're a good person. You're smart, kind, ethical, and caring. You try really hard at everything you do and you don't give up. It's what's on the inside that counts." That really helped me. Also, remind Grace that everyone has a disability, just in some people it's easier to notice. :)

I'm sorry though--that must have been really hard for you and Grace to have gone through. :( You are such a wonderful, caring mother though, and I love how you handled the situation!!