There is a song by Little Texas from the 90's that keeps popping in my head lately. The title of the song is What Might Have Been. If you listen closely to the words, they don't really apply to my situation but I often think of what might have been.
When Abe and I were thinking of starting a family we discussed the possibility of having a child with special needs and what that would look like. We only had the conversation once because, well, it would never really happen. And of course, we said and we meant, we would that child endlessly no matter what.
So why the questioning lately? I really try not to go there. It is not constructive and as the saying goes, "comparison is the thief or joy", and so are regrets. But I have to admit I have been thinking...what if Grace could walk? What if we didn't have to spend so much time and money on therapies and equipment? What if our lives were typical?
I know these feelings will pass and that I will be able to focus more on the gifts and joy that Grace brings to our lives but for now...today...what might have been?
The picture above is Grace at intensive therapy with her wonderful therapist Lissa, one of the joys in our lives.