Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Don't Pity Us

Yesterday I read another mother's blog about how lucky she feels to have healthy children (triplets) with no disabilities. She recently attended her NICU reunion and saw other children with braces or oxygen or a feeding tubes and it made her feel grateful for the lucky life she has and reminded her to take time to enjoy the little things. That's wonderful, I agree, yes you are lucky but we aren't unlucky. We are as blessed as you. Our blessings may just look a little different. Why must we all be so uncomfortable with people who are different? Why must you avoid us because you don't know what to say or do? Yes, our children are different but they are still children. Why must you pity us?

When you look at Grace, you may see the walker and the braces but I see the princess with the amazing smile and contagious laugh. The little girl who likes to pull her brother's hair and chase her sister. The sweetie who loves books, the tricycle she rides at PT (and will get for Christmas) and her daddy. The 2 year old that throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way...the "normal" little girl.

So, I have a real problem with pity but I can certainly understand compassion. Compassion is sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it (I stole that from Webster). So many times we pity others for 2 seconds and then go home to our comfortable lives and forget. I'm as guilty as anyone. I want to make a difference in someone's life and I hope that I can teach my kids to be compassionate and most of all have enough desire and enough love to make the world a better place for others.

Well, that's my vent for the day. I can already hear one of my friends..."Dang Jac, lay off the caffeine, will ya?" :)


Mel said...

Great post! All I see are three happy kids... and cute ones at that:)

Jacqui said...

Hun, from one Jac to another Jac, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Anonymous said...

I was having a BAD morning & right in the middle of more deadlines, I decided to go to your blog (actually, I voiced out loud "I need some goodness)and there they were... my 3 little rays of sunshine.

Each person has their own special gifts to give the world. You & your angels have made my world a much better place and I'm thankful. love, Jackie

Mark Keefer said...

Great post Jacolyn. Great point.

I have a friend in Tulsa who just had a baby with Down's Syndrome.

I loved his reaction. He said, "we've been chosen". What a great perspective.

You guys have been chosen to be loved/blessed by these three great kiddos.

Thank God for your perspective too.

Great pics BTW.

PS: When are you guys going to come out here and go to a real beach with us?

Julie said...

Good post, Jac. I was just listening to a CD that my sister made for me, and here are some of the lyrics (best I can tell - I may be getting some words wrong)
The song is by Caedmon's Call:

"Keep on coming, these lines on the road, and keep me responsible, be it a light or heavy load. Keep me guessing, with these blessings in disguise, and I'll walk with Grace my feet and Faith my eyes."

You've got a heavy load and LOTS of blessings - which you handle so responsibly it amazes me.

I love you -jp

Joselle@WilliamsTriplets said...

Wonderfully stated. My DD cannot walk or crawl yet, due to no fluid in utero for 10+ weeks, compressed sac, low muscle tone and just got out of a cast after an open bilateral hip reduction. We went to our multiples club Halloween picnic today and I held her and felt so sorry that she couldn't run and play with the rest of the kids. Then my husband reminded me that for a child given 0% chance at survival, we are pretty lucky and she has come amazingly far. And as she laughed along with her brothers and ate too many cookies!- I realized it was all o.k.

Princess Abigail in France.... said...

A very, very belated 'hear hear'.
I love this post, it is SOOOOOOOOO true. I agree with such passion!!!
I also love your kids (I confess) and am slowly discovering your blog.
Well done!
Abigail and her Mama