Monday, November 19, 2007
Give Me Hope
This morning started at 7:30 with OT for Grace (after breakfast of course) and was followed by another 2 hours of time with our ECI developmental specialist working with both Mack and Grace. Mack is have a few behavioral issues that we've been dealing with. While he is probably the sweetest of my trio, he also can have some terrible temper tantrums and tends to lash out at me specifically. I've been told that "it's just a boy thing" or that "I need to spend my one-on-one time with him"...that he is lashing out because I don't give him enough special attention. Ouch!!!! While I have to agree that this is very possible, it still makes me feel terrible. I know he needs me and wants to be with me but because of Grace's condition and because he is one of three, my time and attention can be quite limited. While I would never change a thing, Grace takes so much of me. What do I do?! I'm exhausted as it is. I'm trying to arrange appointments, daycare, while arranging time for us to do fun stuff as well. I feel like I have no time to be a real mommy right now. I find myself asking God, "Did you really think I was strong enough to raise triplets and care for a child with special needs? Show me how! Give me strength! Allow me to give them all they want and need of me."
I keep returning to this passage in Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans that I have for you, declared the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.