This morning started at 7:30 with OT for Grace (after breakfast of course) and was followed by another 2 hours of time with our ECI developmental specialist working with both Mack and Grace. Mack is have a few behavioral issues that we've been dealing with. While he is probably the sweetest of my trio, he also can have some terrible temper tantrums and tends to lash out at me specifically. I've been told that "it's just a boy thing" or that "I need to spend my one-on-one time with him"...that he is lashing out because I don't give him enough special attention. Ouch!!!! While I have to agree that this is very possible, it still makes me feel terrible. I know he needs me and wants to be with me but because of Grace's condition and because he is one of three, my time and attention can be quite limited. While I would never change a thing, Grace takes so much of me. What do I do?! I'm exhausted as it is. I'm trying to arrange appointments, daycare, while arranging time for us to do fun stuff as well. I feel like I have no time to be a real mommy right now. I find myself asking God, "Did you really think I was strong enough to raise triplets and care for a child with special needs? Show me how! Give me strength! Allow me to give them all they want and need of me."
I keep returning to this passage in Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans that I have for you, declared the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
7 comments:
Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." I love you!
Welcome to the reality of a mother of 3! Although mine are different ages and not triplets, the ability to give individual attention is a constant worry. Try something simple like, leaving two at home with hubby and taking one with you while you run out and get milk or to the mail box or something. It may seem mundane to you but to kids it is so thrilling to go out with Mommy even just for a few minutes.
Don't beat yourself up about it. I fully understand Grace getting more attention then the other two, as does Nathan on my end, but they will understand as they get older. I always try to included the boys in Nathan's therapy as well. It motivates Nathan and Josh and Owen feel like they are really helping him.
Jacolyn - you sound so tired. I know your life is very difficult right now but I agree with Melissa - don't beat yourself up. Mack demands a lot of attention as does Gracie. And Sophie is running a close third! There's not much anyone can do except pray & help when possible. I urge you to take some time for yourself when possible - even 5 minutes! then keep on keeping on. I love you & will help when I can. Jackie
Thanks for sharing the scripture! I love it when bloggers include scriptures in their posts.
One of my three has been acting out also. It's just as you described it with Mack... almost like he's lashing out at me specifically. Last weekend my husband and I had the opportunity to take him out and leave the other two home. I couldn't remember the last time... It was so nice.
I would love to help you if I could. Hopefully you will get a break, some time to yourself, and/or some help from others. You are an amazing mom! Don't beat yourself up, not even for a minute:)
I'm looking forward to the opporunity to babysit some this weekend. Maybe you can do some special time with each of them while I'm having fun with my other two. Neville
Thanks everyone for the encouragement!! I think the day just started out rough and never quite smoothed out. Tomorrow is another day!
Oh sweetie, having known you almost all of our lives, I know you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are always in my thoughts and I will keep you in my prayers. I admire you so much. I wish we lived closer to each other!
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