When you give birth to triplets you are automatically part of a unique group. Support groups are there to help you deal with this atypical situation. You join mothers of multiples groups, both local and virtual. You have no clue how you are going to raise triplets and it's nice to have people to talk to.
When your child is diagnosed with a condition, such as cerebral palsy, and categorized as having special needs you belong to another unique group. There are also support groups. My support groups in this area are all virtual but obviously no less important or helpful. I believe we not only join these groups for support but to also feel as if we are not the only ones in the world dealing with our issues...to help us feel a little more normal.
Although I belong to these two groups, I can't help but find myself connecting more with the groups that included children with cp. The triplet groups focus more on potty training, preschools, discipline, gymnastics or ballet, etc..."normal things". Their concerns are more about teaching your children to share and how to decorate for triplets. Sometimes I just feel as if I can't relate. Sure I have these things to think about but they are way at the bottom of the list. My major concerns are not something most triplet moms can relate to and I don't feel like being pitied by them...they don't really understand. Sometimes being a part of this group only makes me yearn to be a normal mom.
I do have one friend who has triplets not much older than mine. One of her three has "special needs". She does not have cp but I know that there are, and will be, a few challenges along the way. I sincerely believe that God has put this amazing woman, mother and friend in my life for a reason. I'm so glad He did. We were emailing each other the other day discussing my guilt in enjoying a little time alone with Mack and Sophie...being a semi-normal mom for a morning and this is her reply to me...
I was just thinking of you earlier today. Our lives are similar but also very different. I try to imagine what it must be like for you and can't. Mom and I were talking yesterday and I was telling her of a mother with one little girl and how amazing that must be. Let's face it. If you and I had one baby, our lives would be 180 degrees different. If you and I had 3 perfectly normal, healthy children, our lives would be 180 degrees different. Having triplets, but more, having one that doesn't "fit the mold" is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my previously "perfect" life. I struggle with it a lot. I just take it one day at a time and try to be a good mom and just hope that everything will be ok, that my child will be ok. I think, given time, I will be grateful for this journey somehow. I understand it's hard to talk about some things, but I'm always here.
She is so right...our lives would be so different but I have to believe we would miss out on so many blessings as well... and as my friend said, I have to believe we will be grateful for the journey.
I've mentioned another mom several times in my blog. She has twins, both with cp. Please read what Billie has to say about the journey we're on. I love the way she writes and the things she has to say...it almost as if she's reading my heart sometimes. You're right Billie, we aren't in Holland, we are in the wilderness.